I don’t understand myself. I don’t know why there are so many different desires in my heart but which ones are from the Lord? I had an opportunity about 2 weekends ago to go to Texas Bible Institute. The anointing there was powerful and I was truly touched by the Lord. Before I went there I had been struggling with something in my heart that was hard to identify. I often cried myself to sleep. I have cried more in the past month, I believe, than any other time in the past year. While in the worship service that Sunday it was terribly hard for me to enter into worship. It was almost as if my heart was distrusting God. It’s very hard to explain but it was almost as if I would enter in [to worship] for a few seconds and then withdraw myself. Finally after about half an hour of struggling to enter in to the presence of God I heard these words being repeated over and over in my spirit, “spirit of rejection.” And Immediatly I was made aware that this was it. This was what had given me so much pain. I felt worthless. Oh, but how darly God loves. Because as soon as I was made aware of this I confessed to my friend who was worshiping next to me, “Chesley please pray for me because I have been dealing with a spirit of rejection.” And as soon as these words left I sensed the healing of God and the floodgates opened. I wept and wept. This time not because of a feeling of rejection but because I had never been forsaken. He is dearly faithful to his word. Let us praise him because we were given birth through His word. He’s a loving Father.
“And it was of His own [free] will that He gave us birth [as sons] by [His] Word of Truth, so that we should be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures [a sample of what He created to be consecrated to Himself].
To be continued…..