“You got your best man on the front side. You always show your best side. And evil’s always on the other side, you say this is your stategy. But son I hope you take it from Me, you look just like your enemy. You’re full of pride— full of pride.” – From the song Dying Star by Jason Upton (a quote of the Lord’s conversation with Jason)
Man do i ever know when this song is applying to me. It’s so easy for me to cover up and hide and present a facade of false spirituality. The case is even worse when I believe it. I really desire to be real before the Lord. And I know that it His desire for me more than it is mine. The Lord’s heart burns for me. I am coming to the end of my simester at school and I feel bad because i almost if not totally bombed this simester. I made a C in one class and in the other class may have made a B but in my last class I know I probably failed it. It’s not pretty. I struggle and grapple with it in my heart because i know that the weight of the responsibility lies on me and the way i have allowed my life to be governed. I have been stretched in so many ways it seems crazy. I am working two jobs attending bible studies twice weekly, church: once weekly, I have a lunch book study that I conduct on tuesday with another brother in the Lord, and on top of all that I am going to school and taking 12 hours with piles of homework. On top of all that, i enjoy reading and posting blogs. My priorities are out of line somewhere. Something has got to go.
I thank God for the blessed fact of the things He has been doing in my life;such as the deliverance He has wrought in my heart over the area of lust that for so long held a grip on me. Let me state this emphatically: GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE VICTORY. The deliverance belongs to Him it was He who did it. He opened my eyes to show me how real my death in Him at the cross was and the victory has been there continually. Of course there have been temptations as martin Luther said, “you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you sure can stop him from building a nest in it.” Likewise the Lord has given me the victory time and time again over every evil thought that presents itself as i have allowed His word to me to be in my heart and in my mouth. His word to me now has been, “Abide in Me…” This I can say has been the case…in part. Oh, for a heart that continually prostrates itself before the King!
I also thank God for the opportunity to take the youth of our church to the Acquire The Fire this year so they can understand in a greater way God’s love and heart for them and get their hearts ignited with love and passion for God. I am believing God for exactly that. But something has really Got to happen in my heart Lord. Please do it again Jesus. Strip me of all the falsehood of all the playacting and let me live a life as unto You and before You alone.
“Superficiality does not dishonor God because it’s fake but because He’s real.” -The Holy Spirit speaking to me one day
I covet your prayers I will pray for you.
In our Lord Jesus,