Thrownback Upon Strong Love

Thrownback Upon Strong Love

“The eternal God is your refuge and dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms; He drove the enemy before you and thrust them out, saying, Destroy!” ~ Gen. 33:27 AMP


It’s Thursday and most of the social medias are abuzz with the hashtag #TBT. In case you have not been schooled in one of the now popular trends in social media i’m about to school you.

A #TBT Lesson

The hashtag #TBT is an acronym for Throw Back Thursday. The customary thing to do on Thursday is to post a picture of yourself or a memory of your family or friends from way back in the day and hashtag that post with #TBT. Easy enough right? Well for some this could be a task that take quite some time. I know it was for me today. Looking back through my photos i just could not find a photo to post so i decided to do something not customary and make a blog post about Throw back Thursday.

Trying to Find the Perfect #TBT Photo

While looking through all of my photos and trying to find the perfect photo for Throw Back Thursday I kept looking and seeing things that reminded me of loss and pain from the past year or couple of years…

Lets see…

  • There was 2003 when my grandfather passed away and my family and i were left with a grieving and widowed grandmother who was so incapacitated that i had to drive here around and cook for her and clean for 8 months straight until she was back in a place where she begin to function again.
  • Then There was 2008 when my niece was murdered in cold blood and i was the one to testify against my  cousin as to his past and a previously unknown murder. He is now serving 85 years in a Texas prison.
  • Along came 2009 when my only sister was admitted into a hospital in Rosenberg, Texas and after several weeks of complications and what was found later to be malpractice she was pronounced dead only a week before my college graduation.
  • Enter 2010.  I’m fresh out of college and beginning a relationship with a beautiful young lady and things in my life i believe are beginning to look a bit more positive.  I got a new car, new job, new apartment & new girlfriend.  I had just moved out of my home and was beginning to  plug into my local church with my pastor who was my mentor and  growing in the grace of God.
  • Late 2010 i was laid off from my new job as a web developer but as i walked into the parking garage i could hear the voice of Jesus whisper to me, “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me…” – Jn 14:1  The Lord assured me that this was a promotion and it surely was, i have not since gone back to work as an employee since.
  • 2011 came and went and during this time i began to build Philoveracity as a design company.  I also continued in the long distance relationship I was in…
  • In Feb 2012  i was packed up and had decided that i wanted to take my long distance relationship  beyond road trips, phone calls, letters and short visits so i made up my mind to make the move to California.  With everything packed, short story i traveled to Vegas first and stayed with my Dad for 6 months then proceeded to move to Cali.  My new home.
  • Not long after arriving in Southern California i proposed to the girl of my dreams and got a “Yes”.
  • In late 2012 (around Sept.) i was notified that my Pastors, both the husband & the wife, from home (who were to a degree parents to me) had both gone to be with the Lord.   Tragically i was not able to be there to attend their burials.  The wife passed from cancer and the husband not long after via suicide.
  • 2013 arrived and with the first month the official end of my engagement relationship.  In the wake of the ended relationship, broken hearts.  As time has passed the healing thatGodhas been bringing into my heart has also progressed. I was left with one word as it all ended.  A word god had actually spoken to my heart about the relationship several years before.

  • Late 2013 (On July 11) I was heading back to Vegas to do some house sitting for my Dad and  upon arriving to his house took a short nap while he ran some errands.  When he arrived back he notified me that my Mom, My Grandmother & My Great Aunt had all passed in a housefire.  This was unreal to me, like a bad dream but yes it was true.    As, a result  i made a post on Facebook an had lots of friends pitch in to help me get a last minute ticket to get home to bury 3 of the women who had played the greatest part in my life.

The Voice of My Counselor

Wow!  So yeah… going through all of my pictures today sparked  the memories of the past years and yes i began to feel like i was sinking…  Until…  The Lord reminded me of His goodness.   Thinking back on the years mentioned above i can only see the shadow of the Almighty who’s hand has been on my life faithful and preserving me in the midst of trouble.  I am reminded of the grand purpose for which God has redeemed my life  &  i realize that i am indebted to His great love that has preserved me in the middle of all of this.   His faithful Love kept me from being one of those who have passed on and brought me all the way through to this moment.


What it’s like to be Preserved

I can remember times of great distress and fear but in the midst of it all God has been a shelter and a refuge to me.  I can relate to the psalmist who testified:

You are a hiding place for me; You, Lord, preserve me from trouble, You surround me with songs andshouts of deliverance. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]” ~ Ps 32:7 AMP

and again…

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me.  The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever—forsake not the works of Your own hands.” ~ Ps 138: 7-8 AMP


I wrote this of my journey the other day and I don’t believe i could say it better.



Looking To The Future With Hope

I don’t know what the next years of my life hold but i know that God IS GOOD, He is my Shepherd and He is working out His amazing purpose in my life. When i see and remember the pain of the last several years all i can see is that in the midst of the pain God HAS preserved me. I don’t see the pain as coming from His hand but realize that in a fallen world we will have troubles and pain (Jn. 16:33)  BUT I have found that my constant companion is this Wonderful Counselor who leads me through the pain and counsels my heart even while my mind tries to figure it all out.

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)! For who has known the mind of the Lord and who has understood His thoughts, or who has [ever] been His counselor? Or who has first given God anything that he might be paid back or that he could claim a recompense? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. [For all things originate with Him and come from Him; all things live through Him, and all things center in and tend to consummate and to end in Him.] To Him be glory forever! Amen (so be it).” ~ Rom 11:33 – 36 AMP